My approach to death work
A mini essay on the philosophical underpinnings of my work
I am driven by the idea that expanding a community's awareness of death and grief can also expand its capacity for care and solidarity.
This idea is not my own.
It comes from many writers, artists, grievers, and seekers who have suggested that accepting death as part of life has both personal and social implications (Starhawk, 1997).
They've described how contemplating death can be a subject that leads back to love (hooks, 2001), a skill that makes all the other skills of compassion possible (Jenkinson, 2015). As a practice, death contemplation can clarify values and summon the courage to live more in alignment with them (Ebenstein, 2024). And grief keeps the heart flexible, fluid, and open to others, making it a powerful support for activism and a core element in maintaining community well-being (Weller, 2015).
This is why I view death work as inherently political.
Yes, it involves empowering individuals at the end of life. But it is impossible to do that without weighing the social and political contexts in which those individuals exist and how that affects their access to choices and resources (Harris & Bordere, 2016).
An individual's quality of life is profoundly influenced by culture, race, gender, and class (Harris, 2016), and dignity in death is available only to those who can afford it (Shea, 2025). Conditions under capitalism have rendered life unlivable for many, yet suffering is seen as an individual matter, not a social or political one (Frazer-Carroll, 2023), and suicide is falsely explained away by mental illness (Bryan, 2022).
Further, the state has the power to dictate who lives and who dies (Mbembe, 2019), and genocide continues. Racism and xenophobia have crafted cultures where certain lives are inconsequential (Sandusky, 2017) and ungrievable (Butler, 2006), their ending something to celebrate (Jaffe, 2024). Meanwhile, corporate greed continues to destroy the very earth that gives us life in order to fuel injustice (Kimmerer, 2013).
This is not a life-affirming culture. And without the capacity to witness and mourn that truth, we lose the keen sense of life needed to oppose the violence (Butler, 2006).
“There are very few people dealing with loss and grief for whom oppression, economic inequality, injustice, racism, sexism, homophobia would not be part of what they have to say.”
Again, this is why my death work will always be political.
Grief has fueled rebellion for centuries (Jaffe, 2024). It is subversive (Weller, 2015). It can open up cracks in the wall of the system, rehumanizing the world and ourselves so communities may be built on trust, reciprocity, and care (Milstein, 2017). It quickens compassion around mutual suffering, and without the willingness to stand witness through our grief, we cannot respond to the senseless destruction of life all around us (Weller, 2015).
That is my reason for the work. That is why I'm here.
I have seen what death and grief awareness has done for me on a very small scale—the clarity it has afforded around my values, beliefs, and desires.
And I believe that on a community scale, it can shift attitudes about not only death, but also care for the living and the inequitable distribution of it in society.
“Is there something to be gained from grieving, from tarrying with grief, from remaining exposed to its unbearability and not endeavoring to seek a resolution for grief through violence?”
References
Bryan, C. J. (2022). Rethinking suicide: Why prevention fails, and how we can do better. Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/med-psych/ 9780190050634.001.0001
Butler, J. (2006). Precarious life: The powers of mourning and justice. Verso Books.
Ebenstein, J. (2024). Memento mori: The art of contemplating death to live a better life. Penguin Publishing Group.
Frazer-Carroll, M. (2023). Mad world: The politics of mental health. Pluto Press.
Harris, D. L. (2016). Looking broadly at loss and grief: A critical stance. In D. L. Harris & T. C. Bordere (Eds.), Handbook of social justice in loss and grief: Exploring diversity, equity, and inclusion (pp. 21–30). Routledge.
Harris, D. L., & Bordere, T. C. (2016). Introduction. In D. L. Harris & T. C. Bordere (Eds.), Handbook of social justice in loss and grief: Exploring diversity, equity, and inclusion (pp. 22–30). Routledge.
hooks, b. (2001). All about love: New visions. William Morrow Paperbacks.
Jaffe, S. (2024). From the ashes: Grief and revolution in a world on fire. Bold Type Books.
Jenkinson, S. (2015). Die wise: A manifesto for sanity and soul. North Atlantic Books.
Kimmerer, R. W. (2013). Braiding sweetgrass: Indigenous wisdom, scientific knowledge and the teachings of plants. Milkweed Editions.
Mbembe, A. (2019). Necropolitics. Duke University Press.
Milstein, C. (2017). Introduction. In C. Milstein (Ed.) Rebellious mourning: The collective work of grief. AK Press.
Rosenblatt, P. C. (2016). Cultural competence and humility. In D. L. Harris & T. C. Bordere (Eds.), Handbook of social justice in loss and grief: Exploring diversity, equity, and inclusion (pp. 133–147). Routledge.
Sandusky, L. (2017). Dust of the desert. In C. Milstein (Ed.) Rebellious mourning: The collective work of grief. AK Press.
Shea, A. (2025). Too poor to die: The hidden realities of dying in the margins. Rutgers University Press.
Starhawk. (1997). The pagan book of living and dying: Practical rituals, prayers, blessings, and meditations on crossing over. HarperOne.
Weller, F. (2015). The wild edge of sorrow: Rituals of renewal and the sacred work of grief. North Atlantic Books.